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This week marks mine and nicks one year anniversary. 365 days of having my best friend by my side for every smile, every laugh, every kiss, every joke every time I’ve burst into tears because I haven’t slept for days, every Sunday morning I’ve stumbled around looking for work clothes, every obituary. I can’t remember the date nether can he but I think people care about the dates because they don’t have anything else to cling onto. We have days wandering about in the sun, cold, rain, pulp fiction. We have late night phone calls that last for hours talking about the same things that always make us laugh. We have searching for hotels online then realising we’re looking at the same one. We have all the hours spent together just as friends. We have our first kiss. We have hours spent on a bus enjoying all our other first kisses. We have all the train and bus journeys. We have the people we equally dislike and the realisation that we dislike most people. We have stupid names that he hates and the one he likes. We have the “does this look good?” conversations along with the “you look beautiful” conversations; we have the “have you heard this?” conversations, followed by the “I like this” conversations. We have let’s not do presents and just watch a DVD and cuddle events. We have everything together, so fuck dates and remembering when things happened because it’s not when it’s what, and why and that it was together.

iloveyou

random facts

The cost of the halftime commercials during the Superbowl could feed the world’s entire refugee population (62 million) twice.

So when your thinking about all the awesomeness of capitalism think of the sudan.

Every three minutes someone in the world reports a UFO.

Every three minutes someone in the world should have realised they live near an airport.

The average office desk has 400 TIMES more bacteria than a toilet.

TSC workers, next time you go to the toilet, your really just wasting time washing your time.

Farmville players outnumber real farmers in the US by a ratio of 60 to 1.

i weep for humanity, however i wil lno doubt check my crops later.

Mexican Jumping Beans jump because of moth larvae inside them.

yummy.

Even Antarctica has an area code. It’s 672.

who the fuck delivers post to antartica.

There are more nutrients in the cornflake package itself than there are in the actual cornflakes.

In 1956, 80% of all U.S. households had a refrigerator, but only 8% of British households had one!

(from an american website) yeah because its fucking cold here.

Nearly 10% of American households dress their pets in Halloween costumes.

it takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year’s supply of footballs.

dear PETA, know your enemies.

The secret to success by the black eyed peas.

Product placement is fruitful way of advertising,however putting you're products in a music video can be over kill.

Black eyed peas have not learned this leason:

Imma Be Rocking That Body is a fine example.

After watching this video 4 of 5 times its hard to workout what is not product placement or it could be coincidence.

Like maybe will.i.am just likes beats my Dr.Dre

He likes to show off his luxury item?

Like,really likes them???

Ok now its a bit of a piss take.

Does she even need them?

Also hello HP. Only one placement, must have been a slow cash month. i still think a placement is a bit much. If only they had the integrity that BMW had, they would never stoop so low?

That could be a coincidence.

That too?

:|

For fuck sake,is that BMW and Beats again?

Well we have music and cars.

What goes best with cars? BEER!

So they like Bud right?

The shame, but they are not new to this.

Addidas appears to be a favourite.

As is HP.

The My Humps video accompanied by lyrics like:

They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and NaDonna
Karan, they be sharin'

...

hey say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,

Shameless.

Some would say.

But this is what pays for the videos,which sells the records and keeps fergie in unattractive clothes.

how do i feel today?

"I really enjoy cotton candy, except when I don't."

The Fuck Duck....

Today after a conversation about fetishes, i found my favourite.

I can't find the name of it online ( and to be honest i dont want to type it into google)

As part of my work training i need to know the different types of customers i'm likely to get which let me to reading a fetish dictionary.

The fetish in question involves an "ancient practice" where a man wanks then just before he omes breaks the neck of a bird and puts it on his willy(the convulsing bird giving a vibrating effect).

We decided this was too cruel so if they made rubber ducks with a vibrator and a click able neck then that would solve this problem.

My other Favourite weird fetishes

Rainbow Parties

The actual existence of rainbow parties is in dispute. The apparent origin of the term is a party where a number of girls (or women, but the story generally involves teenagers) wearing different colored lipsticks perform oral sex on a boy, thus creating a rainbow of colors on him. This term appeared in the early twenty first century and was tied to a surge in media hysteria about teenage sexuality.

Pansexual

This is a relatively new term without a generally agreed upon definition. Here's how I like to think of it. While heterosexual suggests your interest is towards the opposite gender, homosexual suggests the same gender, and bisexual suggests either gender, being pansexual means that you identify as having a sexual orientation towards everything, including people of all genders. It may also suggest that you acknowledge you could be sexually aroused by a song, or babbling brook.

Agalmatophilia

Agalmatophilia refers to being sexually aroused or excited by statues or mannequins. Richard Von Krafft-Ebing noted a case in 1877 in Psychopathia Sexualis of a gardener who was found trying to have sex with a statue of the Venus de Milo. There have been more recent cases of agalmatophilia in the news where people have run into trouble with the law while satisfying their sexual interests.

People who are interested in A.S.F.R sometimes include those who eroticize statues or mannequins, or simply the freezing in place of a person (like a robot that has stopped working).

Zoophillia

This is a paraphilia (the clinical term for perversion) that involves having an erotic attraction towards animals. People who identify themselves as having Zoophilia do not necessarily have sex with animals, but instead talk of having loving or erotic feelings in relation to certain animals.

there is...

...only so much joy found in looking up vintage wedding dresses.