Dear Twi-hards

Volvo will never be cool, even if there is a sparkly asshole diving.

Normal Vampire Turf Wars:

Twilight Vampire Turf Wars:

Happy new year, like last week or something

Lets start of with a picture from new year that in actually in and not playing nicks drunk and cant find the bathroom.

I go by the philosophy of get trashed and look like an awesome tranny because there is no other way to go out.

Ok lets round up 2009-

We have learned that:

If someone hasn't drank since they were 15 dont celebrate thier 18th with shots.

Alsways use a condom because there are some ugly ass babies around.

Love can be found in you reg class.

So can annoying skanks.

Lily allen has stopped copying my hair (for now).

College and uni i s a load of balls.

I get bored of new things after a week.

Appreciate a home cooked meal.

Always let bathrooms outnumber or equal inhabitants.

Reality TV is bigger than jesus.

Fad diets don't work but are fun.

Pussycat dolls can not make you skinny.

Even if you mum i s an old gin soaked rag she should not be underestimated.

Celebrity deaths are the new tiny dog.

Drugs are the way to a mans heart.

Bad boys are boring if you'r bad yourself.

Most people are so boring i actually want to kill myself everytime i hit home on facebook.

Twitter is the future.

What to antispate for 2010:

Ignoring most of the previous list.

Aiming to finish my ann summers training (at lest 6 months).

Move back into my mums without wanting to kill her.

Nick gets a job.

Nick gets a job.

I know its hard but please get a job, i want to go on holiday next year.

Topping up on my Spanish civil war loserness in Barcelona (along with my tan and alcohol levels)

Build some form of relationship with my sister thats more than an occasional email.

Do something new with my hair.

Add to my DVD collection ( already started, bought two classics earlier today, Clueless(gutted about brittany murphy) and mean girls(soon to be gutted about slaggy lohan)

I hate posting pictures of myself in this.

but as its a round up i think i'll post my favourites of the year.

I miss being skinny but i love my big boobs.

At the very start of 2009 when snow wasn't the devil

Summer saw the return of hats, white wine and silly faces.

burrito making his way to Stratford in a cup holder.

School Disco, Also my birthday.

all arthur not martha

I love that Big Brother has started. And thats not sad at all. As it is the celebrity version then its perfectly acceptable for the house mates to be dying for attention, which is what ruined normal BB. Added bonus is that i know who everyone in it is and that they don't know who each other are.

Also Christmas happened. i love buying people stuff and i love helping people buying stuff for other people. nothing makes me happier, which has led me to the conclusion that if i go to uni i will be wasting my time. i love retail, i love working in shops. and if i can make it into a management position by the time i'm 24(which is highly likely) then i'll make more money doing something i enjoy than someone who had left uni 3 years before. also it means that as i progress in the business then when i do need a degree and know what i need to in i have the opportunity to do it.

I'd also quite like to get into burlesque, its a beautiful art form that

also incorporates comedy. I love that. this is down to the fact that my waist is now measuring at 26. I have similar measurements to Marilyn Monroe, slightly bigger hips though.

I'm going to start corset training soon.

I think this may have something to do with the feed back ive been getting from a certain picture taken by a friend of me wearing 'dita' .

Obviously not me but that was basicly it.

Ho hum, its fine next week i'll want to be a vet.

I think i may write a show, not like tv but like a stage show.

Must go see nine, and st trinnians.

Evan if there is not russell brand to add to the wank bank.